Pat and Bee's Life

At the speed of crazy!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

It's Time for "That" Talk

Pat and I, over the last few years, have had discussions pertaining to our future as a family. Mostly these discussions have been about whether or not to have kids.

Usually, when I'm not being hormonally crazy, I understand that neither of us are in the category of wanting kids. Sometimes I regret that, but I have to admit that as much as I may want to have children actually having them would probably be a mistake.

Would I be able to put aside my own wants and desires in order to put my child first without resenting them for the rest of my life? Would I be able to handle the stress and worry on both my body and mind that having a child would bring?

Feminists would like the world to believe that you can have it all! Have kids, keep your job and your husband, and be happy. I would like to call shenanigans on that one!!

Holding on to a my wonderful husband, a full time job, helping to take care of our household with him often tax my physical and mental state. Add to this having to put my body and mind through pregnancy, child care, and worry for the rest of my life and I'm simply not sure I can do it, and I certainly doubt my ability to do it well were we to have a child.

Choosing not to have a child is as big of a decision as choosing to have one. I get asked so often when Pat and I are going to have kids that it's as if there shouldn't be any reason not to have them.

I know that Pat's family will be disappointed in Pat not having kids. Unfortunately, it's something that they will have to come to terms with - if our decision to abstain (for now) remains.

Either way, the decision isn't permanent for now. But it's certainly a road we're heading further and further down.


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