Pat and Bee's Life

At the speed of crazy!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Being Married is Hard.

Being married is hard. That's not to say it's not satisfying, or that I'm in any way unhappy. Indeed, I can't imagine being any happier than I am now.

But the truth is that sometimes it's hard. Not always! Just.....well, those of you who know what it's like to be married to someone you truly love understand.

It's not that Pat makes it hard. Hell, he makes it easier than I often think it should be. But we all grow up watching TV shows with married couples who are either totally 100% Stepford Wives in love, or fight until one of them kills each other.

Somehow, Pat and I are in between. It's more than that we just get along. It's that not getting along is the exception, but it still happens.

The true problem lies in that it would appear that humans, at their very core, are insecure creatures.

When one of us feels that the other should humble themselves and pay 100% attention to the other, dropping whatever we're doing at the moment - the other feels as if their own needs deserve to be paid attention to at the time.

Coming to the point where one of you needs to be willing to let go of their own pride and needs to give attention and love to the other, sometimes it's hard.

Often times it's down right impossible. And sometimes, it takes weeks of things being weird between the two of you before you realize what is going on, but by that time - well, you're even more hurt that the other hasn't realized that you're feeling alone and in need of special validation. And of course, the other is feeling the exact same way.

What a mess!

In all actuality Pat and I not getting along comes, not from disagreements but from the feeling of abandon and lack of attention. We both get wrapped up in our own lives - which includes the other, but at a much more superficial level than the other often needs.

By the time the both of us realize what the problem is, either one of us, or sometimes both - if life is stressful enough - are hurt or feeling so abandoned that it can take a few days of constant reassurance and attention to work out of.

The problem here is that Pat and I are both attention whores. You would think this would be good but in actuality it can be hard for the both of us to get what we need from the other without feeling abandoned.

On February 11th 2009 Pat and I will celebrate 6 years of dating. While we've known each other since October of '01. In this time I've met my true other half.

The man who makes me incredibly happy, who I can not imagine living my life without.

Whatever issues we may go through to maintain that love and support of each other throughout our whole lives, and let's be honest with each other - the work of loving one another will never end!; I will always love my Pat.

But sometimes, it's damn hard. Not today. But sometimes. :)


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