Pat and Bee's Life

At the speed of crazy!

Monday, February 22, 2010


I admit it. My teeth aren't straight. It bothers me. It always has. I am blessed enough to be at a place in my life where getting braces is a possibility financially.

As I research more, the more terrified I become. Mostly because I'm a big baby, and braces hurt. Some folks tell you it doesn't, their braces went fine, yada, yada, yada,. To them I say ....well, lots of expletives that my mom would probably not be proud of.

My problem is that I am drastically against drugs. Of all sorts. I spent enough of my life drugged into submission (okay....remission? but who's caring?), that I cringe at even having to take an aspirin. Benedryl/Claritin I'm more okay with simply because otherwise my life would basically be unlivable. But in my heart, it still rankles!!

I remember the days of 1000mg of Motrin a day due to migraine's and headaches. I was 16. I remember losing jobs because I literally could not get up out of bed without puking. I also remember being told "it's all in your head", but who's counting? Drugs didn't help me then! Only moving away from San Diego stopped the headaches. Stress and fluctuating barometric readings FTW!

Either way, I'd literally rather live with any pain that may ever occur (braces or not) both because I am truthfully and very honestly a masochist at heart (candle wax pour off, anyone?), a martyr, and a stubborn ass all rolled in to one. Also, it's a point of pride with me. I may pass out from the pain but damn it, I did it without drugs!

I am also scared because I like to eat. This poses two problems with braces. One, I will not be able to eat the things I like and will most likely, because of both my treatment plan (pendulum for 6 months) and my love for all things yummy will make lots of food out of reach, or more trouble than they are worth. Two, I will probably only be able to eat certain foods for 5-10 days each adjustment period causing a large influx of calories when I eat only mac and cheese, Jack in the Box breakfast bowls (I prefer the hearty bowl), and potato soup for days on end.

So I'll either hate eating so much I eat almost nothing since the pain of brushing, flossing, rinsing, and caring after a meal will be too much. Or! I will live off high fat, high calorie milkshake, breakfast bowl, yummy heaven and gain 25 pounds because "I'm in pain and I deserve it!"

SO! What happens? I discuss this with Pat who, bless him, tries to be supportive, but ends up giving more of a "suck it up and quit complaining" pep talk than making me feel better.

I know he'll help me when the braces are on, but for now, I feel a little lost. A little confused. Even more, a little frustrated.

You see, we live in such a hell hole that only one ortho in town is taking new patients. So for me to even get a second opinion becomes a disaster, because apparently ortho's near where I live are off Fridays - and I have every other one off!!

So I will need to take a sick day to get some second opinions and will hopefully be able to schedule several on the same day so as to not waste my time and energy. If I chose to go to an out of town guy, I will need to take an hour and a half or two hours every 6 weeks and drive out of town, by myself, and get an adjustment.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? HELL YES! This pendulum thing is SCARY as hell!!!! 6 reviews I've read say the same thing! "Medieval torture device, and after 6 months with it in, braces for 2 years after was a BREEEZE. Be prepared to eat nothing but avocado sandwiches and even then only half at a time because you can't chew, the entire time".

See my above comment about being a fat ass who likes to eat!

In this adventure is also the fact I'm a married woman who likes to kiss and be affectionate with my honey! How will that work with a mouth full of spiky scariness?! Will Pat want to kiss me? Will I feel sexy? Will I go 2 years without sex (in which case those suckers are coming RIGHT OFF!!), or will we work it out...and how long will it take?!?

So...scary. I am trying to get the consultations done soon so that almost immediately following the cruise (54 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I can start my 2-2.5 year horrible experience from hell.

Let the calls of "metal mouth" begin. =(


Blogger J M Mellin said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I would be scared too. Pat and I are so lucky that we never had to have braces. As far as the eating goes, just try to think of it as a diet plan and drink lots of fruit smoothies and soup instead of milkshakes. Either way, I bet it will all be worth it in the end when your teeth are gorgeously straight and you feel so much better about yourself. Good luck!

10:30 AM  

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