Struggling At Work

I gave it up. This job is not mine. I do not want to care that it isn't being done my way anymore. I do not get to define how a job is "properly" done. I am not management.

Except....that I do. And I care. And it's eating me alive, and I am 100% unaware of how to not care, and not involve myself. I need to learn how not to do this - but on the other hand, how do I sit and let my customers not be served in the manner they've come to expect?!

I guess it's egotistical - that only I can do it right. "Right" is so subjective....isn't it?

Is it okay for me to expect the same sort of intesity, follow through, and drive from others that I expect from myself? Who am I to judge someone's effort?

How is effort judged anyway? The best someone can do? The best someone *should* be able to do? The best someone else in the office is capable of achieving?

I don't know the issues other people are going through - their home lives (which do affect our work), their other work projects and priorities, or their availability and potential for completing the work as it was previously accomplished.

I don't want to be judgemental. I don't want to be bitter. I am struggling with how to help, without taking it back over and I don't know how to prevail over this internal battle.

I don't want to be angry that the job isn't being done the way I want it to be done. I don't want to hate my co-workers for taking something I poured my heart and soul into and turning it into a mundane, everyday task that isn't getting the full attention I think it deserves.

I re-read my words and notice the word "I" is here a lot. Very little "team". But how do you help someone who thinks they're doing the job right, and management thinks so too?

I guess you just give up these worries (however THAT is accomplished...) and do the new tasks assigned. But inside, I'm dying just a little bit.

Help! I've Fallen Off The Face Of The Earth!

I discovered Plants VS Zombies. And lost many hours of my life to it this week. It was a blast!!!!

It helps that work has been very stressful and I haven't been able to sleep. I've tried. :( So I slept until 11:30am on Saturday. It was wonderful.

Then Pat introduced me to the Bejeweled mod for Starcraft 2 and we played that late into the night last night (Saturday), and much of this morning (no good football on). Last night Mo came over and baked and left us goodies. She can come over ANYTIME!

Today was a lazy day, just did some laundry. But spent much of the day playing SC2, Plants VS Zombies, reading, and being chased by someone with VERY cold hands who just wanted to freak me out. Imagine that.....

This week is only a three day workweek, so hopefully I'll get a lot done. But the week at work is going to be tough. 5 days of work stuffed into 3 is just a little too much sometimes.

Anyway - I've not read emails, checked Facebook or Twitter, or responded to anything at all except text messages this last week. So I'm sorry if I've not gotten back to you, sent you stuff in FB games, or responded to your most excellent tweet. ;)

Off to finish my book now!