Pat and Bee's Life

At the speed of crazy!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Not Drunk Now! WOO!

Well, now that I'm sober I'm tempted to take down my last post. But I've decided to leave it up for a few reasons. First of all, the idiot who said those hurtful things, has caused me days of agony and heartache, and I want him to know it. Second of all, those are the thoughts that I have, even when sober! These thoughts would be in my head, in my heart, screaming to get out, and I would supress them, knowing that I would appear rude and uncivilized by saying something, even when someone has hurt me.

I am not ashamed at these feelings. They are here, and must be dealt with, and thank God, I have a man who understands this, and who is WONDERFUL at helping me through my emotional mess (and 8 weeks physical disaster) of loosing a child.

I then, will leave that post up. To remind myself. Sometimes, when someone hurts you, even someone who's supposed to defend you in all cases, and love you regardless of anything. Sometimes, they can be stupid, and hurt you, purposefully, or not. And they should be ashamed. And I will not allow it to happen again. You don't have the right to hurt me. I take that from you!

To everyone else, I'm sorry for the drama, and we will now return to our regularly scheduled program!!!

Disneyland on Monday!!! YAY! Christmas in 65 days, we already have our mini-tree up! WOO! That is all! Have a great weekend everyone! I intend to!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I may hate you, or I may not. It's up to you.

First off all let me say, I'M DRUNK!!!!!!!!!! I had a blast getting drumnk, I had a lot of fun with Pat's friends,a nd it's been ove a year since I scared Pat and I so shitless we had a 3 month set-back in oour relationship because I actually dtank beer. Which should NEVER happen!!!

I had a blast tonight, was ablet o have fun, and anyone that knows me knows that typos mean I'M DRUNk!! YAY!

Let me just say for the record. This is my blog, I can say what the hell I ahve to say. And with that in mind. if anyone ever wants to tell me that I do not have kids, for any reason at all, they can go to hell.

I want nothing to do with you, and I revoke your ri9ghbt to say anything at ALL to me anout anything!!!!!!

I lost my child in a painful and horribly physical way, and if ypu want to rub that in, or think that God, in his infinite wisdom killed my child to punish me, you're a fucking idiot, and I hate you.

If you want to reconsider you position, I invite you to call and apologuize. If not, may you go to hell and rot with the knowledge that you've said probably the only thing that can cause me anger and pain.

If that's your goal with your relationshop with me, then may God take whatever wrath on your soul that he has planned, I know what sins you hide from the world, believe it or jnot. Otherwise, never bring it up again, or Pat and I will never speak to you again, will shame you wothin your own group pf friends and loved ones, and will expose your shame to the world. I know what sins you hold within your little heart so dearly. Do not think that I grew up with your overbearing, hypocritical ways and avoided learning your way of lying and decieving others. I will expose you, if you hurt me.

I love you all, please forgive me for typing this. I am a vengeful, hypocritical bitch who will fuck you over if you hurt me or the love of my life.

I love you Pat. My one and only.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Wedding Dresses And Lazy People

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAWNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well guys, I'm off overnights! YAY! We did our Christmas set, and this weekend Pat and I will go to Wal-Mart and spend a good $150 bucks on stuffs! GO CHRISTMAS STUFFS!!!

SO! Wedding stuff! I've picked out some possible wedding dresses, I'm a little scared of going and buying one though. To the point where I'd just rather wear shorts then go through fitting, spending that much money, having it not fit later, yada, yada, yada. I'm a baby, I know. I can't remember a time I spent $59 bucks for an article of clothing. Much less $138 for an outfit. Then I gotta get shoes, and I'll never wear it again, since we'd never go anywhere it would be appropriate!

I'm having a hard time with it. I'd rather take that money and plan a trip. $160 bucks is halfway to Sea World man!!! Sea World!! Yes, I know. I'm weird. I love going out and having trips, and Pat hates it. So we make a strange travel team. I'm up early, have everything planned, itineraried, budgeted (always over, just in case), I pack 2 weeks in advance, I pack way more then I need just in case something comes up......Pat gets up 20 minutes before we gotta leave on a week trip, throws clothes into a suitcase grabs his sunglasses and we're off! I can't comprehend it. And what's more, it's irritating! The only thing that boy plans is camping. Let me tell you, our front room was FILLED with camping stuff a week before we left! He's so cute!!! If slightly annoying.

Well let's see what's been going on. We launched the Dark Age of Camelot Stratics site! I made level 24 on my bard. Adra can be seen here! Isn't she cool? And now, for a quick break!

You Know You Live In 2005 When . . .

[1.] You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

[2.] You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

[3.] The real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is

that they don't have a screen name. (OH SO TRUE!!)

[4.] You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of
just pushing to button on the .T.V.

[6.]Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

[7.] You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

[9.] And.. you were too busy to notice number 5.

[10.] You actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5.

[11.] And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

And now, a pet peeve! I hate lazy people. I hate working with lazy people. I know everyone has an off night, but geez people. I work my ass off! (That's right, I said ass...WOO) If you're not going to do it right the first time, LET ME DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD ON EARTH AND UP ABOVE!!!!!!! Don't do something half-assed and then walk away, leaving me to do it right. Not because I'm anal retentive, or because I'm a perfectionist (ask anyone that knows me, I'm not!!!), but I take pride in my work, I do a really great job. And you sir, or miss, are truly screwing with my schedule! When I have to stop and re-do something it took you an hour to do, you just wasted an hour and a half!!!! WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!????????? OH! And if you ever walk around a corner and scare me like you did last night, I truly promise you'll be doing the worst work I can find for you in the store for as long as I work there. Have a Merry Christmas. =)

There are 72 days 'til Christmas, and 2 nights ago I bought my first Christmas plush! A little moose with holly stuck to his forehead, a little scarf, and blue mittens! I named him Moosie. Puppy tried to eat him. :( Stupid puppy.

ANYWAY! Off to do some housework before Pat comes home!!!! Love you all. Hope you enjoy your wonderful day miss ducky. 9 days til Disneyland!!!!!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Google Rocks!

Good Morning!!

This weekend, so far, has been awesome!! I got yesterday off, since I'll be working 6 days in a row, and without it off, I'd be working 10 in a row! WOO! Pat and I got to play Camelot with Steven, and IT WAS SO FUN!!!! SDSU lost by 3 to UNLV! Pat and Dad and I wanted to go to the game, but you know...things kinda get in the way! =( It would have been a blast to go though, get a chance to hang out with Steven and all!

We've re-scheduled the wedding for April 29th! I kinda have to get on doing stuff for it. I thought I was mostly done!!! Hopefully invitations will be going out before next Monday, October 17th. We're inviting Pat's mom and dad, Sister and Bro-in-law. My mom and dad, Sister, Brother and sister-in-law *waves madly at Jenelle*, and of course, John and Lisa, and Steven. Wouldn't be right if they weren't there!

Pat and I have known each other 4 years this month!!! 4 years!!!! I'm getting old! :o I've known John 7 years, I think. And Steven I've known 5 years or so. But they've all been such a huge part of my life, from gaming to getting married. Heartbreaks and treatments. I'm honored that they'll be there when Pat and I get married. They're family. They need to be there. Plus they all like Pat!! WOO! Not like the last one, which they both told me to drop...and of course, I ignored them, but we won't go there!!!

I work today from 1:30 to 10:30, and then tomorrow at 8am is my interview with Skywest!!! I am so excited! Then I go overnights for 5 nights, to help set out Christmas pre-set. Full Christmas set can't go in til November 1st, since all the halloween stuff is there now. I love setting Christmas! I can buy all the cool stuff I find while setting it, rather then waiting. I know that if I take money to spend though, that I will, and then I won't have money to have fun at Disneyland, and I'd cry!!!!!

Onto the gaming world!! WoW Allakhazam stuck an ad on their site that was a keylogger!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!! Idiots. How do you accidently install a program on visitors computers that causes all keys that are hit (like when you log into your game account, or into your bank account to save and send them to someone else? Again....idiots.

Let me tell you how cool Google is! Google lets you create an account and then, you can do lots of cool stuff!!!! RSS Feeds (I do one for EQ2 Stratics), Gmail, with lots more storage space then you'll ever need, email updates about cool goings on, and best of all - personalized Google home pages!!!

My homepage is Google, so whenever I open up my browser (STOP USING IE PEOPLE!!!), I get the Ridgecrest weather, stock market quotes for Wal-Mart and Extended Systems (Pat's old workplace), the top 5 U.S. news stories, the first 3 emails I have in my Gmail account, and some quick hit bookmarks!!! HOW COOL IS THAT????!!!! Anyway, if you don't use google, you're either ignorant of the internet, or plain stupid, so be sure to check it out, either way.

Have a good day ya'll! I'm gonna go get some breakfast, and do my best to annoy Pat out of bed! WOO!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Drugged and Loving It!

Well, at my dentist appointment yesterday, I finished Skipping Christmas. Not one of John Grisham's better written books, but a great story, and we all know how much I love Christmas! Only 81 days to go!!

My dentist finished up the one root canal with a post and a temporary crown, while we wait for the lab to deliver the regular crown, in about 3 weeks. I had to pass on the other 2 root canals, because my insurance limit has already been met for the year. So we'll finish this one up, and in January, start again! I'm on drugs, and it's not fun!!!

The Stratics page I've been working on is live, but (at 9:30am PDT), our webserver is down! Later, check it out at I'll be working more on this site then on the EQ2 Stratics site and I'm enjoying DAoC SOOOO much, with friends to play with! To check out my characters, click here. To check out my playtime, click here.

Today I get to work with Tawnia!! YAY! Our Disneyland trip is going on October 24-26th, and I am SOOOO excited!!!

Work is going ok. It's easy to get frustrated and a little uneasy about going there every day. But I guess that's kinda life, and everyone feels that way. I just so wish I could be doing something....ANYTHING else!!

Today's links?

OH! Speaking of the dark side, Star Wars 3 or 6, depending on your numbering system, comes out on November 1st. I'm thinking of taking the day off, and having a Star Wars marathon!! You know, first 3, then last 3, again, depending on your numbering system! LOL! Oh....wait. I do have that day off (just looked at the Calendar!). I might have to harass Tawnia into watching with me. She's never seen any of them!! That's like saying you were born and raised in the U.S. and have never heard of pizza! Or McDonalds!! I have weird friends!

Pat and I were able to pay off his Mazda6, and are now thinking of a car to get for me! We considered a hybrid, but honestly, it's not worth the money. You get a once only tax break, but the car is way more expensive for the base model hybrid then a regular, say, Honda Civic, and if you know me at all, you know base models are yucky! :p
So we've been looking, and thinking, looking, and thinking. No decisions yet, but I'm hoping to drive my car for as long as possible, so we have longer to save, so we have a bigger down payment, so I can get a nicer car. Not that it really matters. But it will be nice to leave town on my days off, and maybe go to Disneyland, or down to visit my family. Weird that my family is 4 hours away, and yet, since moving in, we've only seen them once for pleasure. The other 3 times was taking care of my bench warrant! HA HA HA!

So if you have car recommendations, let me know! They have to be purdy, get good gas mileage, and all that jazz. I wanted to stay with a manual, but apparently in the last 3 years, automatic's are either matching or beating the manuals as far as gas and mileage performance!! Weird huh?

Someone just sent me this link, and I think it's awesome! If you don't know what Tovin is, you haven't known me long enough....seriously!!

Technician Optimized for Violence and Immediate Nullification

Biomechanical Electronic Construct Keen on Yelling

Positronic Artificial Technician Responsible for Immediate Calculation and Killing
That's all for today folks! Have a good week!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Another Happy Day Off!

Yesterday was a busy day, and this week promises to be just as crazy as last month was!

On the agenda for this month?
  • A trip to Disneyland with Tawnia, who still hasn't updated her blog. *coughs*
  • Trying to download most of the songs I had on my old computer! This is a monumental task, but I figured I don't want all of them, only most. And some of them, Pat even has!
  • Finding another job! I've been looking. Put in quite a few resume's, but no word yet. I am getting frustrated, but Pat is so optimistic he should be shot! :)
  • Re-plan the wedding....yay
My bankruptcy was filed today. I've started the irritating job of trying to get a new social security card without being in a city with an office. I hate being in the middle of no where sometimes!!! Oh well!

I've had this cool link for a few years now, and sometime recently Beth sent it to me, and it reminded me I had it, so I thought I'd share!

I'd like to thank Ivy for her wonderful e-card that brought tears to my little heart, and made me love her sweetness all the more! You're a sweetie girl, thank you for looking out for me!!!

I'm a little scattered today, if you can't tell. I got up and took care of stuff that needed to get done, and was focused and productive, then Pat came home for lunch and my productivity plummeted! I'd like to blame him, but that wouldn't be fair. I'm lazy, and darn it, it's my day off!!! :) So I declare today to be a lazy day! Wanna complain? Don't care! WHHHEEEEE

I've cancelled my EverQuestII subscription, and re-activated my Dark Age of Camelot account! I loved Camelot, but Steven and Pat were a little nutso about playing, and I get weirded out about sitting and playing computer for 9 hours at a time, though they can do it with no problem!! LOL I've been working more on the Camelot Stratics site, which will launch soon! I'm excited to show you guys the work that I've done on it!!! YAY!

I'd like to remind everyone that JoEllen's (Pat's sister) birthday is on October 6th, and Nathan's birthday (my brother) is on November 17th. Pumpkin pie all around! Except for Pat and I, who are still doing well on our diet!

Hit my lowest weight today! 185!! *dances* Pat and I are going bike riding tonight, and then watching the game with whatever yummy dinner I cook *glances at the clock* that I should probably start working on! But anyway, we've been exercising and eating good, and I'm proud of both of us. More of me, cause I don't snack near as much! *grins*

I thought this was cool! The discovery was made back in 1982.

Two Australian researchers have won the Nobel Prize for Medicine for their discovery that stomach and intestinal ulcers are caused by bacteria, not stress. The Swedish Nobel Prize committee cited the men's discovery as having proved that ulcers can be cured by antibiotics instead of surgery.
If you're bored and want to play something relatively safe online, try iSketch but don't become addicted, cause it's kinda scary how fun it is. Unless you're me, who should
  1. Never draw

  2. and
  3. Never play games involving drawing!
I hate it, Pat loves it, we play together! He draws, I guess. I'm pretty darn good!!!

Anyway, tonight we plan to watch some Tivo'd Amazing Race. We'll have some dinner, go on a bike ride, maybe take puppy for a walk, and Camelot! WOO!

I'd just like to close by thanking everyone I work with, and am close to, and especially my honey for their support over the last few weeks. If I hadn't had a miscarriage, the baby would have been one in September..........
Yeah. Well. I appreciate it. Even if it's hard to talk about. I love you all!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Happy Birthday MariLu!!!!!

    I'd like to start out today, by thanking my honey for doing the blog re-work. I can't figure out HTML to save my life, and he was a sweetie and spent long hours working with me to get it right. He rocks, and I love him!!

    Happy Birthday to MariLu! Sorry I didn't call.....I'm really bad about stuff like that. If it makes you feel any better I rarely remember to call my own parents on their birthdays. HI MOM AND DAD.....ha ha....h...a.....Sorry! :(

    Today starts the Relay for Life in Ridgecrest. This is the first time I've really been involved in anything like this, and it's a little overwhelming. I'd like to remind you all of my previous post in June. Get tested everyone!! Ladies, Mammograms can and WILL save your life. Guys, colon and heart tests are a must!!! The survival rate once you've been screened is so high, it's really sad that so many people died even 10 years ago, from this stuff. (I miss my Aunt Becky, almost every day.....)

I'll be walking today after work. Someone from the team has to be on the field at all times, during the weekend long event, and I don't think I can handle that many people all at once. For some reason, it's really hard to deal with.

    Pat has found this webnote thing, that he is just so excited about, I can't begin to tell you. I guess it's cool. I don't really see future functionality of it like Pat does...but I guess that's why he went to school and I'm working at Wal-Mart! ;o

    I've just finished reading Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia. It's not particularly well written, but it tells a story that should be read by all women in America, if only to understand what other cultures go through.

The history of the Saudi culture is outlined in detail, as well as the reasoning behind their beliefs and relgion, culture and consequences. It was definitely a good read, and one I'd recommend to any teenager whining about their parents not letting them do anything! :o

    Gonna try to convince Pat to see that new History of Violence movie. Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris together? WOO! Looks like a really good movie, with a darker story about the depths of violence that can overtake people.

We saw Stepford Wives last night, and BOY was it cool! I love Glen Close, and Mr. Creepy himself, Christopher Walken. Brodderick is yucky, as always, and Kidman is the same. They suck! But it was a great movie, great ending, and Bette Midler and Jon Lovitz were funny!!!

    Today's fun links!

Anyway, I've made a committment to write in my blog WAY more often! Right now, I'm aiming for every day, but I know me, and I know that won't happen. So, going back to work today! Tooth feels way better, and I can talk without it hurting or ripping my gums! WOO! Have a good weekend all.