Struggling. Not With Work.

So. My post about struggling with work was more than a little conceited. I see that.

But those who don't know me obviously don't understand my thought process. Not surprisingly since those who do now me barely understand it.

So, let's go through the thinking here a bit, to figure out why I'm such a stuck up, egotistical ass. Cause I am. I know it. I just try really hard not to act on it.

But maybe that outlook is my downfall.

The conceited part of me that strives to be better than those around me is obviously hurting me. But how do I turn this off? How do I struggle with being the best I can, and doing the awesomest job EVAH and still being able to get along with those around me?

This week's test: Stop being an ass. Stop competing just long enough to really get a good look around you and decide what I really want, and what it will take to get there. Really pay more attention to others around me more than to my job and to my future.

We'll see how it goes!

Struggling At Work

I've been struggling at work the last 2 weeks or so, and once I finally figured out why it disturbed me. The problem is not that I can't figure out the work, or get along with my co-workers. The problem is that I'm kind of a stand offish bitch. I get that. And honestly.....I need that.

While I understand that the people working there are friends and keep up with what's going on in each others' life I'm not as much a part of that as I probably should be.

I understand why now. And I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I'm not there to be friends. I'm there to be their boss in a few years. I always have been. From Animal Control to Sea World, to Wal-Mart....it doesn't matter what I do in a work environment. I am there to be the best I can, and to be the boss one day (even if I end up turning it down due to not wanting the stress or drama).

That comes across more than a little bitchy! I'm not sure why. I'm there to do my work, talk to my co-workers and let them know I AM interested in their life and what's going on. But often, when it comes to my turn to talk - I turn around and start my work again.

Now, when you work with a bunch of chicks this doesn't often lend itself to the feeling of getting along. And I'm not sure how to fix it. While I may be okay with not fixing it, but I doubt others feel the same way. I think, as long as I get my work done, contribute to the team, and get along with my co-workers without alienating them, I should be golden.

So, my concern: I've never had this issue at a job before. I've ALWAYS gotten along with 99% of the people around me (the last 1% can suck it....). So whatever is happening here is either me truly being a bitch and I need to make a more concerted effort to fix it - OR! The other gals I work with are morally opposed to being nice to me.

In which case I intend to make them like me, or to try so hard that afterwards I know in my heart that I could have won the lottery and shared it with them and they'd still not like me.

But in all honesty, this situation is not about people liking me. Ever. Cause honestly, I really don't give a flying fack (Thanks Tawnia....srsly h8 u!) if these people like me. I've got my own friends and life.

This is about getting along with a team and not being a source of contention. Oh, and it's also about earning their trust and respect over the next few years. So when I am the boss - we can all get along just fine. =)

We're off to the movies later. Pat, Tawnia, and I (Monique is invited but prolly won't show, she's got tons going on - poor thing) are heading to Coraline!

Home show was awesome. I've never seen Pat quite as happy as he was when he picked up a new nozzle from the water department booth. We used it yesterday. He was thrilled.

Anyway. If I'm off in my thoughts above feel free to call me out people. You know my IM info, phone numbers, and such.

OH! And a quick hello to new reader Enst, who finally found me after only 5 years. Quick study there hon. :p

Have a fantastic Sunday peoples!!!!!

B

Busy Weekend!

First off, GO AZTECS! When they got beat by Utah at the Mountain West Conference championship, it was sad. But it was also on TV, so I got to watch my Red and Black play for only the second time this year!

But then....Arizona beat them into the NCAA Tourney, and I cried and threw stuff at Pat. Being a Tucson boy, and a true desert rat at heart, he loves his Wildcats. Personally, I'm glad they lost. Stupid Pac-10! Of course, I say that being 99% sure Pat won't read this. =) I do root for Arizona when I have to!

SO! SDSU gets picked as a first round NIT team!

They beat Weber State. They beat Kansas State. They beat St. Mary's!!!! Now they're off to Madison Square Garden to play Baylor in the final four of the NIT. The game is Tuesday night at 4pm Pacific, on ESPN2!

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Now! Onto the rest of this weekend! :)

The Ridgecrest Home Show is this weekend and Pat and I will be attending! WOO!

I need to get my nails done today, cause they look awful. Right now I have acrylic tips with red. I'm thinking of going blue next. Or maybe black....mmmmm black. Yeah, I'll do that!! Oh, and a pedicure cause it's getting warm and I really can't wear sandals with toes that appear to belong to a zombie.

Tomorrow some of "the crew" is heading to see Coraline, which finally made it to theaters here!

Jenelle did my weekend housework, so otherwise will try to get to level 52 with my priest Tinaryn on the Velen shard in WoW and will watch the NCAA tourney - though Pat and I have no teams left.

I really want to get a good blog post I've been working on in my head all week done. Hopefully I'll also get a chance to do some laundry in between all the playing.

Everyone have a fantastic weekend!!!

B

Last Night's Wootage

The Players: Me, Pat, Jenelle, Nathan, Tawnia, and Monique!

The time: Started between 6 and 6:30 and got done around 12:30

The food: Pat made AWESOME burgers with onions and garlic inside, and we had a ton of fixings. Tawnia brought pasta salad, Monique brought fruit salad, we had cookies for dessert, and we drank a lot. Well, I drank a lot, I think others drank a moderate amount. It was fun.

The entertainment: After dinner, and looking at WoW pets that belonged to Monique, we all headed over for some Guitar Hero World Tour, followed by drunken Apples to Apples. More Guitar Hero followed, and finally everyone dispersed.

Tawnia brought me Mickey and Tink stickers, so everyone was appropriately stickied, and Monique and I wore the St. Patrick's Day hats we got in Laughlin.

We had a blast. I was up at 9 the next morning (now) to let the bug dude in to spray. Who knows when Pat is getting up! Hope everyone enjoys their weekend, and remember - Monique cheated and broke the rules. She will pay!