I've been struggling at work the last 2 weeks or so, and once I finally figured out why it disturbed me. The problem is not that I can't figure out the work, or get along with my co-workers. The problem is that I'm kind of a stand offish bitch. I get that. And honestly.....I need that.
While I understand that the people working there are friends and keep up with what's going on in each others' life I'm not as much a part of that as I probably should be.
I understand why now. And I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I'm not there to be friends. I'm there to be their boss in a few years. I always have been. From Animal Control to Sea World, to Wal-Mart....it doesn't matter what I do in a work environment. I am there to be the best I can, and to be the boss one day (even if I end up turning it down due to not wanting the stress or drama).
That comes across more than a little bitchy! I'm not sure why. I'm there to do my work, talk to my co-workers and let them know I AM interested in their life and what's going on. But often, when it comes to my turn to talk - I turn around and start my work again.
Now, when you work with a bunch of chicks this doesn't often lend itself to the feeling of getting along. And I'm not sure how to fix it. While I
may be okay with not fixing it, but I doubt others feel the same way. I think, as long as I get my work done, contribute to the team, and get along with my co-workers without alienating them, I should be golden.
So, my concern: I've never had this issue at a job before. I've ALWAYS gotten along with 99% of the people around me (the last 1% can suck it....). So whatever is happening here is either me truly being a bitch and I need to make a more concerted effort to fix it - OR! The other gals I work with are morally opposed to being nice to me.
In which case I intend to make them like me, or to try so hard that afterwards I know in my heart that I could have won the lottery and shared it with them and they'd still not like me.
But in all honesty, this situation is not about people liking me. Ever. Cause honestly, I really don't give a flying fack (Thanks Tawnia....srsly h8 u!) if these people like me. I've got my own friends and life.
This is about getting along with a team and not being a source of contention. Oh, and it's also about earning their trust and respect over the next few years. So when I am the boss - we can all get along just fine. =)
We're off to the movies later. Pat, Tawnia, and I (Monique is invited but prolly won't show, she's got tons going on - poor thing) are heading to Coraline!
Home show was awesome. I've never seen Pat quite as happy as he was when he picked up a new nozzle from the water department booth. We used it yesterday. He was thrilled.
Anyway. If I'm off in my thoughts above feel free to call me out people. You know my IM info, phone numbers, and such.
OH! And a quick hello to new reader Enst, who finally found me after only 5 years. Quick study there hon. :p
Have a fantastic Sunday peoples!!!!!