This story is dedicated to a fine, upstanding young hobbit whom I had the pleasure of grouping with last night. I expect great things from him, and I know - deep within him - is the power to overcome even the greatest of hobbit munching creatures.
The bear was stalking a badger one fine morning in the shire. It was spring, and the animals were carefree and happy. A movement from the corner of his eye caught the bears attention, and he loped off to see what it was!
Why there was a little hobbit! The hobbit dropped his pie in surprise and scampered faster then the bear ever could follow, but the pie was there upon the ground, so of course the bear ate it up! Soon, the bear grew used to the pies that the little creatures would often drop upon their owners noticing a big bear in the path.
The bear grew fat and lazy, and the hobbits grew more and more frustrated!
One day an adventerous little hobbit named Turlos defied the bear! It was his own pie, baked by his friend hobbit Moondog and he wasn't about to share with a stupid hobbit munching bear!! But alas, Turlos was so intent upon smelling the pie and fantasizing about the eating of it with his friends that he did not see the bear following along at a safe distance, trying to figure out how to get this pie for his own!
Turlos took a path that he knew led to nearby growing mushrooms. He had covered them with a small bush the last time he had wandered past, to keep the location a secret from other hobbits. Now he was going to get a pie and mushrooms. A hobbits dream elevenses!
The bear followed at a distance, sniffing the warm deliciousness wafting from the pie and salivating at the thought. But Turlos was an unusual hobbit. From his belt hung a sharp knife that glinted meanly in the sunlight as he walked, and the bear was afraid. He had heard stories from fellow bears about being chased through the wilderness by crazy yelling hobbits wielding sharp steel, intent upon hides and glory. Crazy hobbits! One never knew what they were going to do next.
So the bear devised a simple plan. He would gallop up the road, and lie in wait. Then he would jump up and surprise the hobbits and swipe the pie keeping it for his very own.
Turlos was a good burgler though, and an attentive fellow. He had noticed the bear following him and was devising a plan of his own.
He stepped off the path, carefully balancing the pie and the mushrooms while making sure the bear didn't come back. He slipped carefully into the shadows and wound his way carefully and oh so slowly through the brush and trees until he was behind where the bear was lying in wait.
The adventerous (and hungry!) hobbit grabbed some apples from a tree, and took careful aim. He would only have one shot at this. He suddenly pelted the bear with three, four, five good sized apples! The bear was in shock and for a moment ran directly at the poor little hobbit, roaring in frustration and fear. Turlos held his ground though, and grabbed at his dagger, ready for a fight. He flung his dagger with all his might at the hobbit munching bear and hit right smack in the nose!
The bear roared in pain and stopped in his tracks. Turlos, now without a weapon grabbed his pie and his mushrooms and took off as fast as his legs could carry him! Off he ran, past the bridges and paths near his home, and he didn't stop until he had reached his very door, much in need of a snack and less excitement for a time.
He set out for himself a fantastic spread of snacks, cakes, pie, boiled eggs, cream with breads and sweets, and of course, mushrooms and cheese and he munched happily all through elevenses and did not leave his cozy hobbit hole until the next day.
This time, he carried a pie that he had made to a friends, and though he was on the lookout for the bear, and much afraid of what would happen if it found him upon the path yet again.
To the entire communities delight, the bear was never seen again. Somewhere in the wilderness lives a bear that at the thought of a hobbit or pie, or the smell of mushrooms dives for the nearest cave, and he won't come out until many days after these thoughts have passed.
Turlos, of course, is still sure that hobbit munching bears are everywhere to be found and avoids them wherever possible. But he knows, in his brave little heart, that he has bested the most important bear ever! The bear that would steal a hobbit's most prized pie will never be seen again!